Friday, October 5, 2012

Dr. Z's Arkansas Preview-It's Get Well Saturday

$25 40 million in debt and counting, and he still is cheerful enough to ask people to smile.

Game 5 is here, and in to town comes the trainwreck that once was Arkansas football. Arkansas was a team that started out in the top 10 and now sits 1-3, with blowout losses to Bama, Rutgers and the Texas Aggies, along with a stunning OT loss to La-Monroe (Can you even imagine a team like La-Monroe even taking an SEC team to OT? Don't answer that.)

To trace the Arkansas downfall, you have to go back to last year, when Ole Jetgate Petrino thought it would be a good idea to take his mistress on a motorcycle ride. Keep in mind this is a little bit after he decided it would be a good idea to hire said mitress for a position (likely missionary) in the Arkansas athletic department. He also decided he had the authority to do this without informing his athletic director.

Petrino's idea crashed and burned...literally, when his donor-cycle slid off the Arkansas highway, with him driving and his hot new assistant on the back. Neither were wearing helmets. I say this not because of safety concerns, but because I am utterly shocked at the brazenness of a famous football coach who rides around on a motorcycle with no helmet so the world can see him...with a hot chick on the back.

Maybe the folks around Fayetteville just thought to themselves "how nice of Coach to give his niece a ride on his motorcycle". In a move that would make Bill CLinton proud, Petrino then tried a cover up which included some of Arkansas's finest. It failed, and caught in a lie about hiring a mistress to a position (reverse cow-girl?) in the Arkansas athletic deptartment, he was rightfully forced out.

Arkansas then hired a bankruptcy attorney's wet dream in John L Smith, who was hoping to land a permanent gig. The guy actually left Weber State to take the Arkansas job in the most startiling instance of "well, it looked like a good move at the time" I have ever witnessed.

So now the Hogs come to town in a state of decomposition. Auburn needs to bury them.

I am still a bit concerned about Tyler Wilson. He is a good QB who loves playing Auburn. The last time he was in Jordan-Hare he set the world on fire. But let's face facts, Arkansas has the worst defense in college football. If there was ever a weekend for Keihl Frazier and the Auburn offense to get well this it it.

I am hoping to see some gashing runs from Tre Mason tomorrow. I am hoping to see another receiver step up and make a catch or two (LOOKING AT YOU, Trevon Reed). I look for Tyler Wilson to bet hit early and often by Ford and Lemonier.

I look for a big victory on get well Saturday.

Smile! Though your heart is aching-17


  1. I can't wait to read the Arkansas Review--please try to keep from cusing too much.

  2. I'm attracted to a tall guy whose only flaw is his pot belly. He has broad shoulders, a wide chest, really muscular arms, blue eyes, auburn hair, and long legs. He's extremely fit but he doesn't seem to be able to get rid of his pot belly. I don't mind it. Is it for difficult for men to get rid of them? I'm a female and the first place I lose weight from is my waist. I just can't seem to be able to make my butt flatter no matter how many miles I run.

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