Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Rocky Top Preview...I hate that place

How lucky am I? I get to write about Hillbilly opponents for the second time in three weeks.

Give the Tennessee Billies some credit. They are way more refined than the West Virginia Billies. The women actually take the tobacco out of their mouths to swear at you while tailgating.

If your are headed up to Koxville for the game, I envy you. Envy because I wanted to go to this one. I had planned on it for a year. About a month ago the Mrs informs me we will be headed to her school's homecoming this weekend. My wife graduated from Wofford. So instead of tailgating in Knoxville I wil be in frickin Spartanburg, SC for the frickin Wofford homecoming game. So for the second week in a row I'll be watching an Auburn game in a bar in South Carolina. Marriage, what are you gonna do? I told her if I wanted to watch second rate football I'd drive down to Legion Field and check out UAB. She still told me I had to go...

Since I have in-laws there, I (unfortunately) have spent way more time in Knoxville that any non-Tennessee person should have to spend. It's an ugly place with ugly people with lots of dental problems. The big river right by the stadium? It happens to be the most polluted in the country. I'm talkin 2 headed catfish polluted. So if you happen to be going by boat, do not fall in or all your skin might fall off. I cannot figure out how they recruit so well there because it is an ugly campus in an ugly town that makes Baton Rouge look like Venice.

I don't know what it is about Tennessee. Nobody in the conference can stand them. Ask anyone from Bama, Florida, Georgia, etc. Whether it be too much orange or not enough quality dental care, Tennessee folks are just hard to be around. I think only LSU is more reviled around the league, but at least they have good gumbo.

As far as the game goes, It really could be a battle. The defense for UT scares me a bit. They played pretty well straight up against the Gators. The have some pretty serious injuries at linebacker, though, losing Nick Reveiz, their leader on the defense to a season ending injury. The may be looking at a true frosh as a replacement. Not good when trying to figure out decipher Guz the Mad Librarian's motion offense.

Our other ace in the whole this game is Jonathan Crompton, arguably the worst QB in the conference. David Cutcliff called him uncoachable a few years ago. Looks like he was right, because he can be counted on for about two picks per, or a fumble. Basically any way he can get his team beat, he'll do it. Crowd the box. Stuff Hardesty (who hasn't practiced yet this week!) and the run game and make Crompton win it with his arm (something he has never been able to do).

The key in this one to me is getting out early. We need two early scores in the first. If we can jump out to a lead, I think the Vols fold. The Tennessee fans are very close to turning on this staff. This defense is very close to turning on their inept QB. I predict a big play early by Super Mario, a first quarter pick, and Smokey isn't the only one howling at the end of this one.

Auburn 34
Vols 21

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